43 Reasons You Should Never Visit Southeast Alaska

1. Southeast Alaska? It’s not very nice.


Tracy Arm. Photo by Rain Coast Data.



2. The scenery’s not very impressive.

Photo by Ron Gile




3. Juneau’s just like any other capital city.


Juneau. Photo by Laurent Dick




4. And the Northern Lights aren’t all they are cracked up to be.


Photo by Chris Miller




5. Unless you are into that sort of thing.


Chilkat Range viewed from North Douglas. Photo by Laurent Dick




6. Summers in Southeast Alaska are pretty unspectacular.

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Photo by Ron Niebrugge




7. I mean, there’s nothing nice to eat.

Sockeye Salmon at the Taku River Lodge. Photo by Chad Shmukler.




8. And the ice caves are pretty overrated.


Mendenhall Glacier Ice Cave. Photo by Chris Miller




9. Who actually enjoys an open-water dip in the ocean?

Swimming in North Douglas. Photo by Rain Coast Data.



10. I mean, who wants to spend all day looking out at this view?


Rink Creek in Gustavus. Photo by Rain Coast Data.




11. And the fact that there are more than 1,000 islands? Yawn.

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New Eddystone Rock Island. photo by Judy




12. The food is like the food they have everywhere.


Taku Smokeries Salmon Caviar




13. As for their celebrations? Very forgettable.


Southeast Alaska natives (Tlingit, Haida & Tsimshian) march during the biannual event, Celebration. Photo by Mark Kelly.




14. And the hikes? They don’t really go anywhere special.

Description: iking the wold trails

Photo by Erica Victorson.




15. And it’s not like this is a ridiculously cute way to travel.


Photo by Tatoosh School Prince of Wales.





16. Or this.


Paddle Boarding on Auke Lake. Photo by Rain Coast Data.




17. Or dogsledding? Really?


Dog Sledding on the Mendenhall Glacier by Helicopter tour. Photo by Holland America.




18. The wildlife in Southeast Alaska is pretty unspectacular.


Humpback Whales in Berners Bay. Photo by Laurent Dick.



19. Seriously, there’s nothing special to see.

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Salmon spawning.




20. Nope. Nothing cute at all.

Anan Creek In Wrangell Alaska




21. And there is nothing for kids to do.


Horseback riding in Gustavus. Photo by Rain Coast Data.





22. At least nothing fun.

Taku Harbor. Photo by Rain Coast Data.





23. No one does any interesting sports in Southeast Alaska.

Backside of Douglas. Photo by Chris Miller.





24. Just the regular boring ones.


Mendenhall Glacier Ice Hockey Game. Photo by Laurent Dick.





25. Or else they just sit around doing nothing.

Description: ike McCune Surfing Yakutat, Alaska.

Mike McCune Surfing Yakutat, Alaska. Photo by Surf Alaska.





26. It’s all just fairly mundane.

Oliver Inlet. Photo by Rain Coast Data.






27. The main problem with Southeast Alaska is that there’s nowhere to get away for a bit.

Secret Beach. Photo by Rain Coast Data.





28. Nowhere to just sit and collect your thoughts.

Boy atop an iceberg on a frozen lake. Photo by Rain Coast Data.





29. And it’s not like there is much culture.


Paddlers arrive in Juneau for Celebration 2014 on Wednesday, June 11, 2014. Photo by Katarina Sostaric, of KSTK News.





30. Or history.

Mexican Mine Arch. Photo by Alaskanweed Photography.





31. And the art is pretty average.

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Tlingit carver Archie Cavanaugh. Sealaska Heritage Institute photo.





32. The fishing there is just rubbish.

Photo by Laurent Dick.




33. There are no berries to be found.

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Photo by Stephinie Miner of gypsyforest






34. And there’s no cute seaside towns in Southeast Alaska.

Sitka Alaska by Juneautek





35. Which is a shame.
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Baranof Warm Springs Bay by jcooluris




36. And ridiculously adorable cabins you can rent for almost nothing? Forget about it.

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USFS photo of Point Amargura Cabin





37. Their public transportation is pretty crap.


The Inter-Island Ferry Authority on the way to Prince of Wales Island. Photo by Rain Coast Data






38. And Southeast Alaska is filled with unattractive boats.

Photo by Planet Alaska.






39. Natural hot springs overlooking a waterfall? So overrated.

Baranof Warm Springs. Photo by David Omick.






40. Talking of dumb ideas, whoever thought snow carving was a good idea was an idiot.

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Skagway snow carvers. Peter Lucchetti, Philip Clark and Michael Yee pose in front of the castle and dragon they carved this year in preparation for the Buckwheat Ski Classic competition.






41. So just don’t go.

 View from the Stikine Inn in Wrangell. Photo by Rain Coast Data.






42. It’s not worth it.

Eaglecrest. Photo by Jessie Herman-Haywood.




43. Southeast Alaska’s for losers.

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Ziplining. Photo by Sander Schijvens of Meilani.


(Oh but wait. There is one good thing. It NEVER rains...)

Hobart Bay. Visiting on the Midnight Sun. Photo by Rain Coast Data.